USDA Swat Team?

When I think of USDA, I think of meat inspectors.  You know,  guys in white coats and hard hats walking through a processing plant holding a clipboard and checking temperatures.  Sort of like Paulie.  You know, Rocky's brother-in-law.

I guess inspectin' the cow punching business has gotten much more dangerous.  How else to explain the USDA's solicitation for submachine guns?

Solicitation Number: USDAOIGWEA-5-7-14
Notice Type: Sources Sought
Added: May 07, 2014 2:03 pm
Synopsis:
The U.S. Department of Agriculture, Office of Inspector General, located in Washington, DC, pursuant to the authority of FAR Part 13, has a requirement for the commerical acquisition of submachine guns, .40 Cal. S&W, ambidextrous safety, semi-automatic or 2 shot burts trigger group, Tritium night sights for front and rear, rails for attachment of flashlight (front under fore grip) and scope (top rear), stock-collapsilbe or folding, magazine - 30 rd. capacity, sling, light weight, and oversized trigger guard for gloved operation.  NO SOLICITATION DOCUMENT EXISTS.  All responsible and/or interested sources may submit their company name, point of contact, and telephone.  If received timely, shall be considered by the agency for contact to determine weapon suitability.

Contracting Office Address:
1400 Independence Ave., SW, Room 40-E J.L. Whitten Fed Bldg
Washington, District of Columbia 20250
Place of Performance:
USDA, Office of Inspector General - Investigations
1400 Independence Avenue, SW
Washington, District of Columbia 20250
United States
Primary Point of Contact.:
Linda F. Josey,
Chief, Procurement Management Branch
linda.josey@oig.usda.gov
Phone: 2027208337
Secondary Point of Contact:
Desiree Clayton,
Contracting Officer
desiree.clayton@oig.usda.gov
Phone: 202-720-5931
Fax: 202-690-1282

Are cattle being held hostage?  Is there a corn field in crisis?  What is the pressing need for a USDA swat team?  Why Linda?  Why Desiree?  Dear Lord, for the love of beef, why?