Thursday, September 19, 2013

In Honor of International Talk Like A Pirate Day

Q: What's a pirate's favorite vegetable?
A: ARRRtichoke.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite fruit?
A: ARRRanges.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite grain?
A: bARRRley.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite subject in school?
A: ARRRt.

Q: What's a pirate's second career?
A: ARRRchitect.

Q: Who's the favorite late night host in the pirate demographic?
A: ARRRsenio Hall.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite Olympic Sport?
A: ARRRchery.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite State?
A: ARRRkansas.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite fish?
A: cARRRp.

Q: Where do most pirate's come from?
A: cARRRnies.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite drinking game?
A: QuARRRter bounce.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite play?
A: ARRRsenic and Old Lace

Q: What's a pirate's favorite movie?
A: FARRRgo.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite clothing?
A: cARRRgo pants.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite headgear?
A: pARRRty hat.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite smoke?
A: A cigARRR.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite weapon for CQB?
A: A cARRRbine.

Q: What's a pirate's favorite comic strip?
A: HagARRR the Horrible.

Q: How do the pirates get to the dock?
A: They cARRRpool

W: Stop it. Just stop! These aren't jokes, you're just emphasizing ARR in words.  It's not even funny.
RB: Maybe it isn't funny to you, but it is fun to do. You can make a game of it.
W: No. Stop.
RB: Okay...How about these.

Q: Where do pirate's keep their armies?
A: In their sleevies.

Q: How does the pirate Captain signal his crew it's time to plunder?
A: He makes a booty call.

Q: How much did the pirate pay for earrings?
A: Buccaneer.

Q: Why are pirates like gangstas?
A: They both say "Yo Ho..."

Q: What card game do pirates like?
A: GIN RUMMY!

W: These are worse...don't quite your day job.
RB: Don't like puns, eh?
W: Those aren't puns....they're just bad.
RB: Here's a narrative one.
A pirate returns to his home port and sees an old friend.
What happened to your leg?A cannonball hit me leg, but the surgeon fixed me up with this peg just fine.
And your hand?'Twas cut off in battle, but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook just fine.
And your eye?Ah..Looked up when a bird flew overhead.  My bad luck, it shat in me eye.
You lost your eye to bird crap?No. No...'Twas me first day with the hook.

W: Enough. Go to work.
RB: OK.


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